When we cannot

One of the things I want to avoid in the things I share with you on this website is giving you pet answers. I do not want to tell you to just memorize and recite Scripture and everything will be ok, simply because both you and I know that it won't. Overcoming pornography is not as simple as reciting Scripture. In fact, one of the major problems I have encountered in overcoming pornography is that no matter what I tried to do to keep myself from giving in, I would always end up failing.

I recall one occasion when I was using my laptop. I had just been surfing the internet for a bit when that old familiar feeling came over me...I just had to visit that site. I didn't want to though, and a struggle ensued. I opened my browser, typed in the web address, deleted the address, typed it again, moved my hand towards the Enter-key but pressed backspace instead...this went on for a little bit until suddenly I heard the voice of God in my heart as clear as I ever had: "Trust and Wait." Immediately, I understood what God was saying. Trust - trust that He would provide in all of my needs, including my sexual ones. He knows my heart and my life, He loves me and will provide me with everything I need if I just trust in Him. Wait - wait for the woman that He would give me in His time instead of being impatient and trying to find that intimacy I longed for in pornography.

The moment God spoke those words to my heart, the struggle was over and the temptation overcome. I closed the browser and put my laptop away, ecstatic at the new resolve these words had given to me. I was sure that if I just kept this 'trust and wait' in mind, I would never give in to pornography or masturbation again!

As in many cases, however, the resolve didn't last very long. I told myself that the next time I was tempted, I would simply tell myself to 'trust and wait' and everything would be ok. For a while it worked like I thought it would. Sooner than I had anticipated, however, the 'trust and wait' defence mechanism failed and I gave in.

More than once, something similar has happened to me. What I have come to understand through all of this is that no method, no system, nothing I tell myself to do or say when temptation comes is actually strong enough to keep me from giving in. No system or methodology will ever give me the victory over pornography. The only one that can help me is Jesus. Since He is a Person, victory over pornography has much more to do with a relationship with Him than with some kind of principle or system or method that we try to use - no matter how Biblical that principle or system or method might be.

Jesus does not have the answer; Jesus is the answer.