Testimony

Recently, somebody wrote this testimony on a Bible forum. More than anything I have ever read, this testimony has both motivated and inspired me to stay as far away from porn as I possibly can. I want to share it with you here and do so with the permission of the author, though I will keep it anonymous. I pray it inspires you as it has inspired me...

Wow this is a topic that is very personal to me. I have been on the other end of the problem - being the one that is in the pornography and then eventually making myself "available" to men for compensation. I met some very nice men in my past who loved their families dearly but desperately struggled with sexual addiction and pornography. They were one of the reasons I decided to leave, as I didn't want to be the cause of someone else's addiction and spiritual downfall. I felt deeply responsible. How could I not accept my role?

I know that this is difficult for some men, as it seems that men are just wired a little differently. They are very visual and can easily separate the human being from the image. If you can, the next time that you see an image on the internet, try to take a moment and see the woman in the image as a person and not just an image. Try to see her as someone who has parents, siblings, possibly children and people who care about her. Try to imagine someone close to you - your wife, your sister, a woman in your life you care for deeply in that image. Try to imagine them posing and other men seeing them as just objects. It's disturbing when you look at it that way. You wouldn't want it for them. Before I entered the adult industry I found myself being hurt after boyfriend after boyfriend seemed to struggle with pornography. It battered my self esteem. I always thought I must not be pretty enough that they needed something else. I guess eventually I thought, if you can't beat em - join em.

I want for more men to know that a large majority of the women who work in clubs, pose in magazines or are in movies or prostitution do have families and are people. Many of the women I knew were single mothers. It's easy to get lost in the fantasy and think that these women just are very sexual and love what they do and want to make you feel good. It's harder to look past the surface and see the very personal and spiritual price they pay for someone to get a release.

It encourages me that more and more men and beginning to talk about this and that Christians are stepping up to help in recovery. If the Lord can plant the seeds in my heart to help me try to quit I know the same can happen for you. My role was an addiction too as I was compensated very well. I am still struggling with giving up that aspect of it. I think you and I can both tackle our addictions if we take them one day at a time. We are very blessed to have so much support on our side!

Pulling out the root

Recently, God showed me something very essential in understanding my struggle with uncleanness in my life. I was actually preaching when I had this thought and used it in my sermon - the result in people's life was powerful.

God showed me a garden with plants growing here and there. As in (almost) every garden, there were weeds that needed to be pulled out. I remember that as a kid, I used to just snap of the weed where it comes out of the ground, thinking that this would take of the problem. When my mum found out, she quickly pointed out to me that snapping off the weed would not solve the problem, because I was leaving the root in the ground. The result would only be that the weed would grow back. She showed me how to pull out the weed with root and all.

Our struggle with sin in general and pornography in particular is like this. We often snap off the weed, believing that we've taken care of the problem. The weed is gone - at least, it cannot be seen - and we go on our merry way, thinking we've removed sin from our lives. After a little while, however, it grows back. We fall back into sin and wonder what went wrong - had we not removed it? We snap it off again and repeat the cycle until we become frustrated, discouraged, or even depressed.

But God is telling us that we need to pull out the root, not just snap of the weed. He wants us to take care of the root problem - and the root is in the soil of our heart. Our hearts need to be dug up so that God can take care of whatever it is in our hearts that needs to be changed. We need to be willing - if necessary with somebody else - to let God dig up the soil of our hearts, bring the roots of this sin to the surface, so that He can remove it - for good.

That process is painful...but it's the only way.